A Voice Unheard
by xLazy-Brunette
Summary: Kendall has always had a great singing voice; as a kid, and as an adult. But, on his way to Gustavo's studio, he notices a sharp pain in his throat. Could Kendall Knight be losing his voice, or is it something much worse than that? The rest of Big Time Rush are going to find out.
1. Voice of Gold

**A/N: Hello everyone! It has been a _LONG_ time... I remember writing fanfiction like it was just yesterday, going on my old laptop, writing about the boys, etc. Enough of my talking, get ready for another fanfiction filled with a ton of angst and drama. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.**

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Kendall loved to sing. In the shower, while he was driving, anywhere he could, he would sing. It's something he enjoyed doing. It even calmed him down in times of stress. Taking a step into the shower, he began to wonder what a world where he couldn't sing would be like. He shook his head as a ways of getting the thought out of his head. Drenched in water, he grabbed his shampoo as he belted out the latest song he and his friends had come up with a day's prior. His voice was crisp and smooth, no note cracked. His hair lathered in suds, he placed his head underneath the shower water and rinsed his hair with his fingers. Just as he went under the water, he heard banging at the bathroom door. "Yes?" He spoke over the water pelting at the shower floor.

"Kendall, hurry up in there, we leave in five minutes!" A familiar voice shouted out to him.

Kendall sighed deeply, shutting the water off as he exited the shower. Today was the day they would go back to the studio to tell Gustavo about the new song him and the rest of the band wrote together. It was exciting, sure, but when Gustavo rejected their ideas, it wasn't such a good feeling. Rubbing the towel over his head, he looked at himself in the mirror. His reflection shone like he was in front of the sun, he had the looks, he had the voice, what else could he ask for? It was everything he's ever wanted. He took a moment to get dressed, but exited the bathroom quickly, just in time to leave with his friends. "I'm ready," he said, just over his normal tone, "anyone here?" Kendall took a glance around the family room, but no one was to be seen. Taking a second to gather his thoughts, James entered the kitchen to grab a quick snack before they left.

"Hey," James sighed, "got everything you need?" James was always the one to ask them if they had everything they needed. In some ways he was a parent, but most of the time he was just that kind of friend. Usually it was Logan who would be the one making checklists, but on some occasions James would too. He gave Kendall a quick glance, placing some fruit, and a few other snacks into a tote bag.

"Yeah, I think so," Kendall responded, hands patting his pockets just in case. Running his hand through his clean hair, he took a deep breath and looked at James, "why are you packing snacks? We never pack snacks."

James closed his eyes and chuckled, pointing at his blonde friend, "you remember what happened last time," he said, continuing to check the bag if he had gotten everyone's favorite snacks, "we left, and Carlos was hungry the whole time we were at the Studio."

Kendall took a second to remember what had happened and tilted his head, "doesn't Gustavo have food in the studio? Like, everywhere?" He raised a brow.

James paused what he was doing and his eyes stared straight. "What the hell were we doing that made us believe he didn't at the time?" He closed his eyes, in hopes that it might help trigger his memory, "oh yeah, Carlos had upset Gustavo with something, so he made the food off limits as a ways to make him learn not to do whatever he did before..."

"What was it he did?"

"I have no idea," James shrugged, handing Kendall the tote bag full of snack food, "I think it'd be best not to ask." Walking over to the door, he grabbed another bag full of things the rest of the guys might need, such as, bottled water, some money, MP3 players (in case they were bored), and of course, his own lucky comb. He strapped the bag over his shoulder, and beckoned Kendall to follow him out the door.

Life was easy. Aside from going to the studio early in the morning, it was great. Kendall cleared his throat, doing some small vocal warmups on their way there. Something wasn't being cleared up properly, so he cleared it once more.

"You might not want to do that too hard," James implied, glancing back at his friend, "we'll drink some water once we're there, don't worry about it right now."

Kendall has been singing for years, but for once, he actually felt like he had no idea what he was doing. Step by step, he caught up to James' pace. "Hey, do you think Gustavo will like our song?" He asked, a look of worry written on his face.

James smirked, running his fingers through his long hair. James was always the confident type. No matter what was thrown at him, he was always sure everything would go right. Though, sometimes he would have a low point if he was told something he didn't expect. Luckily, he had three friends who were all there for him whenever he needed them the most. He's seen as being an egotistical jerk, but that's not him. Just as his friends are there for him, he's there for them, even if it risks an opportunity. How could he not? His friends have helped him through some really hard times, and even to get the things he's most wanted.

Kendall turned his eyes to James for a quick second, just to see his face. James, with his confident smirk, made Kendall feel a bit less worried about the day. Going to the studio was fine, it was Gustavo who he was really anxious about. Walking at James' side, he subconsciously took a step closer to him. He didn't know why it happened, but maybe it's because James is like a giant pillow to him, he always seemed to give Kendall the best comfort. They _did_ sleep in the same room together, so in a way, they've bonded because of that. He watched as James pressed the down arrow for the elevator with his thumb. As the elevator took it's time to arrive, Kendall completely forgot about where the other half of him and James were. "I forgot to ask, but where are Logan and Carlos?"

"They left earlier than us," James changed his position, stepping into the elevator with Kendall, after the doors opened. "Logan said it would be easier, and less trouble if two people went together instead of all four of us."

" _Earlier?_ " Kendall's eyes widened, leaning against the elevator's wall as it went down to the lobby. With his eyes on James, he craned his neck, "how much earlier?"

James pulled out his phone that read '7:06AM'. "We left at about seven in the morning, so they left at about six," he explained, his teeth clenched together just thinking about how early they woke up.

Kendall's mind went back to having intrusive thoughts. What if he doesn't sing the song right? What if his voice cracks, even though it hasn't before? He hesitated, but called out to his taller friend, "Does–does my voice sound weird to you?"

James' head perked up at the mention of his name, furrowing his eyebrows at the question. "It sounds the same," he half laughed, "why?"

Kendall swallowed his saliva, staring right at James, "Because my throat is starting to hurt." He quickly silenced himself as the pain got worse, his hand slowly going over his neck.

"Are you ok, buddy..?" James' face was etched with worry for his blonde friend. The doors opened, and he quickly pulled him outside.

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 **A/N: Heyyyyyy soooooo sORRY ABOUT THAAAT... guess you'll have to wait until the next chapter! And I promise I will try to update it soon. I want to get back into doing this. I miss it. Drop a review! How is it so far? Do you want more? Also, I'm thinking maybe the second chapter should be a bit longer. Would any of you want that? (Probably... LOL.) Thanks for reading!**


	2. On Mute

**A/N: HEYHEY! Here I am with the second chapter... this is where things get real, and partially fluffy? I don't know any other word for it, but yeah there's gonna be some sweet parts, so be sure to get cozy in your bed, or seat, or wherever you are when you read my fanfiction lol. By the way, thank you for your feedback! I love getting emails about it. It just shows me how much people like my fic.**

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Logan took a glance at his watch, releasing a sigh, "where are they?" Logan was usually the one who would worry the most, no matter if the problem was, small or big. He shifted his eyes to the right, observing his shorter friend. Carlos' eyes were closed, but his expression would change as he hummed a songs from the radio. He really was impossible to figure out sometimes, he was always in his own world. "Carlos, did James or Kendall text you about where they are?" Logan checked his phone just in case.

Carlos' head perked up, it was evident he was still very groggy from waking up earlier. Tiredly placing his hand in his pocket, he grabbed his phone and swiped the screen to see if he had any notifications. "No, nothing..." If Carlos saw others worrying, he would worry too. He usually picks up others emotions, negative emotions even moreso. "Do you think something happened?" He asked, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

Logan gave him a reassuring smile, "no, James is probably just spending some extra time on his hair," he half laughed, looking at Carlos. "Don't worry too much." How could he say that, when he himself was worrying? Around Carlos, he attempted to hide his negative feelings, only showing a smile. There have been a few times when Carlos would have a bad dream and ask Logan if he could sleep in the same bed as him. Logan would always allow him to. If he didn't, he knows he would probably stay up all night and not get proper sleep. Logan was happy he could help, though.

Carlos whined, "I'm hungry..."

"I know, buddy," Logan said, texting Kendall asking about his whereabouts. "We just have to wait for them."

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Kendall's hand was gripping onto his throat, he was unable to speak any words, it hurt to say anything. Holding onto James, he hoped the pain would pass, but it didn't. James didn't know what to do, his friend was in pain, and his other two friends were waiting for them at Roque Records. Kendall could do nothing but wheeze.

James tried to get Kendall steady on his feet. "Can you talk? How much pain are you in?" Kendall couldn't answer. All he could do is use his hands to explain what he was feeling. It wasn't easy, but James understood him clearly. "We're going to the hospital, follow me if you can." James explained, pulling Kendall behind him as they traveled to the car outside of the Palm Woods. James wondered if this would be a long-term or not. Thoughts of Kendall never being able to sing again went through his head a thousand times. As they arrived at the parking lot, Kendall seemed to be a bit better, but it was still hard to tell. James just hoped he wouldn't be in pain.

Kendall glanced over to James a few times on the way, his whole expression screamed 'I'm in pain'. He was glad James was there with him, and happy he cared. It was a weird feeling, but it was almost like he couldn't feel his voice was there, like it was gone. Without speaking, it was an empty feeling. He was about to speak and see if it reallywasn't there, but he immediately realized the sharp pain that was still at the back of his throat. He grimaced at the pain, but that made it hurt as well, so he just sat in silence for the rest of the drive.

As they arrived at the hospital, James had completely forgotten to text the other half of them where they were all of this time. Taking out his phone as they walked inside, he sent a quick 'ran into a problem, we'll tell you the details when we sort things out.'. Kendall didn't look too good, but that could also be stress from not getting to Rocque Records on time to show Gustavo the song. Everyone helped out with the lyrics, but Kendall had a pretty big part in it. Everyone could tell he put his heart and soul into the song, it was pretty obvious from how he sang it. James loved that about Kendall, he would always take a part of him and put it into the song. At the desk, James had explained Kendall's problem, and they were brought to the waiting room. Waiting rooms... they always sucked. If they were lucky, they would be there for only a small amount of time. They took a seat in the chairs just a bit aways from everyone else's. Coughing, wheezing, and sniffing was easily heard from their seats. It was gross. James gave a look of reassurance to Kendall, who was spacing out at the floor. James didn't know if he was still experiencing pain, or it was just worry. He guessed it was a little bit of both, since Kendall would've tried speaking to him if the pain was gone, but it wasn't. To get his attention, he gave a light pat on his blond friend's back. He could tell it startled him a little, but he could see Kendall appreciated it. "Everything will be fine," James leaned over to Kendall a little bit, "Gustavo will understand in the end, and he'll probably give us some time. He's always been understanding."

Kendall's eyes shifted in James' direction. Something about the way his expression was looked like he wasn't as worried about getting to Logan or Carlos, but it was more about him being able to sing again. It seems weird to think he was singing just fine in the shower this morning. Kendall's head perked up at the sound of someone calling his name, it was the doctor he was assigned to. Him and James both stood up from their chairs, and followed the doctor to a small room with a bed in it. The room also had a counter with a sink, and some various tools to check up on things. The doctor lead Kendall to sit on the stiff bed. The doctor asked some basic questions, where the pain was, how much pain he was in, the simplest of questions, but he had to rely on James to respond for him.

James took a small step forward, "sorry, but his throat is in a lot of pain," he glanced at Kendall, "so much that he can't even talk." The doctor nodded to James, and wrote some things down on a piece of paper. He said some things, and felt parts of Kendall's neck, he even grabbed a tongue depressor and checked at the back of his throat. He heard Kendall wince sometimes which made him grimace for his friend's pain, but the doctor knew what he was doing. The doctor explained it was hard to tell, and to wait a while for other symptoms before he could properly diagnose Kendall's problem. James sighed. Of all the places that could've gotten hurt, it had to be the number one thing Kendall used the most. The doctor also suggested Kendall rest his voice until further notice. That was going to be hard. James took out his phone once again, and notified Logan of what happened. One thing was for sure: they weren't singing the song that day. The doctor signed them off, so they left.

There were so many emotions going through Kendall's head, it didn't feel like any other normal pain in his throat, it was sharper and stronger than any other. The pain might've been fading, but he knew it would be back. Even if he were to speak, his voice would be weak, and it wasn't like it was this morning. On their way back home, he couldn't sing to the radio, so he sung in his head. It made him sad, not being able to sing. I just hoped he could have even a little strength to whisper a song.

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Logan and Carlos headed back to the apartment, Logan being more worried than ever. Kendall was actually the one who least got sick out of all of them. It seemed Logan was failing at hiding his emotions, because Carlos wasn't as happy on the way back. Since he was hungry, Logan bought him some food from the vending machine to tie him over until they were at the apartment. Right now, the thing he was least worried about was the song. He was most worried about Kendall's condition, James made it sound like it wasn't just a normal infection from a cold. It was too sudden, the common cold takes at least a few days to really kick in. Logan grabbed the card to lock the door, sliding it through the slot and opening it up as soon as the light flashed green. The first thing he saw was Kendall sitting on the orange couch, a blank expression etched on his face, and James pacing around, evident he was thinking about every single possibility and scenario that could happen. "We're back, any change?"

Kendall's eyes aimed in Logan's direction, giving a simple head shake to respond. It was strange, losing the ability to do something. As soon as it was gone, you want to do the thing you lost so much more than before. It was gone, yeah. That part was true. Kendall just hoped it wasn't forever. God, he prayed it wasn't forever.

Carlos made a bee-line to the refrigerator, taking out some bread, peanut butter, and some grape jelly. It was weird, this situation was going on, yet he went straight to food without asking or saying anything. Nobody got mad at him, though. It was expected of Carlos. He wasn't completely aware of these things unless someone sat him down and explained it to him. "Did anyone eat anything yet?" He innocently asked.

James glanced at the refrigerator, thinking of the food possibilities, while looking at Kendall. He knows Kendall didn't eat anything when they left. "I haven't, and I know for sure Kendall hasn't either," James strolled over to Carlos, and decided to help him make sandwiches for everyone. That might brighten the mood a bit. "Kendall, is your throat feeling any better? Do you think you can eat something?"

Kendall hesitated to decide, but he nodded. It wouldn't hurt to try. He licked his lips, imagining himself talking, or even singing for the most part. He debated trying, but instantly decided against it.

James and Carlos were mumbling stuff among each other, chuckling at what seemed like an inside joke they had together. James began to hum a random tune, which eventually shifted into him quietly singing some made up lyrics to it out loud as he and Carlos finished the sandwiches. In that moment, James was happy. The situation wasn't completely the worst, except for the fact that Kendall can't talk or sing for a week, maybe more.

Kendall tilted his head at James as he was handed the sandwich.

James raised a brow. "Do you need anything else?" He asked, but Kendall shook his head, still looking at him the same way. James took a glance around the room, and back at Kendall. He had no idea what Kendall was saying, since he wasn't really speaking. Kendall's eyes shifted to the floor, and back to James, giving him a warm smile. Instead of speaking, Kendall mouthed a 'thank you,' and left it at that. He was glad he had a friend like James by his side, full of himself sure, but he really was a good friend.

James smiled at Kendall. "You're welcome, pal."

Carlos leaped onto the couch, sandwich in hand. "So what now? It's still extremely early!"

Logan followed suit, but instead of leaping onto the couch, he just walked over to it and sat on it like a normal person. "How about we put on a movie. Afterwards we could go to the park for some fresh air, and from then on go with how we feel."

Kendall took a deep breath. This week was going to be a long one.

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 **A/N: THANK YOU ALL for reading this chapter! It took some time, but I finally got all 2,000 words down. (It's like, 3:06am but it was worth it I think... I do this for you guys REMEMBER THAT! :))) Also, my sleeping schedule is way off, so hopefully I'll go to bed earlier from now on for my mental health... But back on the positive side of things, this isn't supposed to be a pairing fic, but there will be some sweet parts scattered across this fic, just a heads up! But anyway, I'll see you all in the next chapter! -Toot sweet!**


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